My awakening with Human Design

When I started using my Human Design strategy of ‘waiting’, I broke free from the matrix. This was in 2012. I quit art school, went traveling and studied to become a healer. The first 7 years were tough, as my body and mind were rewiring to align to the life meant for me.

Not a 9-5 office life, not even being part of the art world with all its own conditionings… but living life on my own terms!

It takes 7 years for our body to realign, and to start living in more ease. We can’t skip this or accelerate it: it is a mechanical, cellular process. Then, the mind doesn’t interfere or takes us off path as much anymore.

After 7 years, I started my business as a spiritual entrepreneur. I lost all my friendships. I went through my Saturn return. My business wasn’t very succesful. I was creatively blocked after art school (yay for institutionalized creativity) and had to slowly wean myself back to life. I mostly had a whole bunch of nothing. It was tough.

So no nirvana yet. I am a 3/5 Generator. For a 3rd line, failing is part of succeeding. Mucking around is how you fertilize the soil.

At times I wanted to quit this stupid ‘waiting strategy’ that Generators need to follow, and I pushed to get things done. This always blew up in my face. I failed at the business ideas I concocted when I couldn’t stand it anymore, and I had to break up with misguided friendships I had initiated from my mind.

it always starts out promising…

3rd lines make and break bonds. They start and quit, try and fail, attempt and adapt… All of this failure really taught me that the strategy of waiting works – by showing me that the opposite didn’t. I had to discover this for myself. This is why Human Design is called a ‘experiment’. We have to try it out and see for ourselves. Especially 3rd lines.

It made sense that my path went like this. Actually, difficulty at the beginning and trial and error are literally in my Human Design chart (gate 3 and 3/5 profile).

I wasn’t a victim of this (gate 3.5 often gets projected upon that it is a victim of its difficulties), as I anchored deeper and deeper into my strategy of waiting to respond.

Often, nothing would come my way. Nothing to respond to as a Generator. Only my mind to keep me busy and tempt me to start initiating. But the response has to come to something from the outside – whether that’s a question, a sign, a pamphlet or anything else that ignites your motor and gets you moving! The mind, no matter how great its ideas, can’t do that. It can’t initiate, whether you’re a Generator, MG, Projector, Reflector or even Manifestor.

You can dream, visualize, intend – but then you have to wait until the first signs of the manifestation come your way and get you started, not force it into the world.

With my sun gate 60, I am here to accept the limitations, the lack. Instead of looking for ways to survive (my view transference) or feeling guilty I didn’t do more (my motivation transference), I waited.

I panicked less and less at the void, the phases where nothing happened. I felt less and less depressed when it happened.

Sometimes I could even enjoy the creative melancholy, an immersive poetic mood that arises from the individual circuitry in Human Design. This is in fact how we are supposed to experience these ‘void’ phases: not as depression, but as creative melancholy!

So I would put on some music and just flow. Painting, dancing, making memes: anything that I felt like creating. The negative mood would morph into a deeply human spectrum of emotions, the heart-breaking beauty of existence, and I would find satisfaction in dark humor and an appreciation of the liminal.

I have the channel 3-60, which formats my whole chart to be in this on-off pulse of manifestation. To have intimate encounters with the void, time and time again. To go into the darkness, to die and transform, to become reborn.

Slowly, I discovered that the strategy of ‘waiting’ doesn’t mean a passive thing. It is teeming with aliveness, with roots that grow underneath the soil to birth a luscious rose bush once the time is ripe (pardon my in-your-face metaphor here).

The waiting is even satisfying in and of itself.

Just like being quiet after you overexterted your voice is satisfying, so is the strategy of waiting. After a life of pushing, many Generators resist waiting at first, until they start tasting that sweet nectar of the wait. Then, it becomes delicious.

Holding all that life force, without spending it immediately. Just enjoying your own energy, ‘feeling yourself’.

if you know, you know

And then, when you get the ‘go signal’ (your response), you unleash! It feels incredible to be in the pulse of creation, to feel on top of the world, to suddenly know everything you need to know, and to empower your own life. To hold the reigns.

This pulse, this unleashing, is called a ‘mutation’, and it is part of all the individual channels (the middle ones in your chart). I have this with my 3-60 channel. It always takes me in completely surprising and invigorating directions.

Manifesting Generators are FAST

If you’re an Generator or Manifesting Generator, the way your life force moves can be similar (channel 3-60 or 14-2) or might be different: it can be cyclical with seasons of maturation (32-42, 29-46), a constant focus (9-52) or logical rhythm (5-15), an intuitive stirring in the moment (50-27) or even be accompanied by an emotional wave (6-59). It all is dependent on the channel that comes out of your sacral!

12 years after starting my Human Design experiment of following my strategy and authority, I feel like I finally figured out how to use my strategy and inner authority!

The journey of deconditioning from the mind continues. It is quite something to break from the mental matrix we are conditioned to live in! And to actually start living as ourselves. To live the life that is meant for us.

I know that if I stayed in the art world, I would have become miserable and ill. I would probably have ended up taking a shitty job, if I didn’t awaken, and be creatively blocked and more and more frantic at attempts to escape the situation. I would have lived a life of burnout and depression.

Luckily, I encountered Human Design, and over the last 12 years, I slowly took the pressure off and regained my energy. I still have more healing to do. But now, I am at peace inside – and my life goes a lot more smoothly. I have an appreciation of the transformative nature of my flow. My business actually goes somewhere now! (Even though Generators, especially 3rd lines, are quitters when the energy stagnates, they are also incredibly resilient and enduring once our motor has switched on – and I’ve always seen things through to the bitter end, very much a Generator that slowly climbs its way to the top!)

Also my connections aren’t based on people-pleasing anymore (hello undefined Solar Plexus), but reflect my true self. I feel a lot lighter, a lot more appreciative of life, and a lot more ALIVE in general. And life reflects that and brings me even more. The flow of synchronicities to respond to has become eerily efficient: everything I encounter holds meaning, people speak my thoughs out loud or I read the same words I am thinking, and whoosh, I am off again! I attract a lot more things to say YES to than to say NO to.

Projectors have a penetrating aura that really SEES you which can be scary yet is delightful at the same time!

What I regained:

  • my creative flow – I am never blocked again, always inspired (even in the no-pulse phase) and am in awe of the joy and fulfillment of living in this pulsing rhythm of creation!
  • my trust in the universe: when I surrender, it provides – even when I think it doesn’t,
  • my self-love and self-acceptance: instead of thinking there was something deeply, fundamentally wrong with me that I had to hide from the world, I realized every quirk is in fact a superpower, every need is valid and every weakness leads me to eliminate discordant frequencies so I am guided to live a life that affirms who I am at the deepest level.

I hope that sharing the flow that got me here inspires you.

I want you to feel this self-acceptance too.

I want to empower you to embrace who you are.

And I want to support your transformation!

To assist your awakening with Human Design, I have courses for the 4 most common types.

EXTENDED! 25% off until Jun 30th. Align your aura with your strategy, to live the life meant for you. To help you FEEL your strategy and the essence of your type with guided meditations. Order courses for the GENIUS GENERATOR, MAGNETIC MG, MANIFESTOR MAGIC & PLENTIFUL PROJECTOR: