I have always felt a pressure to be scientific. In high school, I chose to do science classes primarily. Then I went to university to study Psychobiology: the interrelatedness between the mind and biology – understanding the brain and how our consciousness is created biologically.
I dropped out after 2 months. I felt completely bewildered at the sheer impossibility of studying this complicated scientific material and having no energy at all to get to class – unable to get my brain to focus on the lab work, the lectures, the books… My identity crashed.Choosing a softer wayhere.) I felt so pressured into hard science. I really thought I had to get all the facts proven (and understand our consciousness in a scientific way with psychobiology) before I could even get to the consciousness/healing aspect of it all. Before I was even allowed to go where my passion truly lies – which is the work I do now, exploring multidimensional consciousness, spirituality and offering healing! (And creating lots of content because I love creating too.) I felt so bad being more of a dreamer It wasn’t like my parents pressured me into it, in case that’s what you’re thinking. My father even recommended me go to art school from the start. Both my parents are not scientific, and both are open to the spiritual. So where did this pressure come from? At first, I thought this was just societal conditioning. I can still feel insecure thinking about what my scientific ex-classmates must think of me channeling aliens and not going for the jab (just to name the most extreme-looking shiz I am up to). And then this whole rise of all these fact-checker warnings on Instagram posts too! Lots of societal conditioning here. But then, there are many ways society can condition us, even in a high-level academic sense – why didn’t I feel pressured into studying economics or literature, for example? Why did I get this specific pressure for biology, for SCIENCE, that really pulled me out of alignment in my teenage years and that still gets to me now? Human Design gives insight Ironically, it does that through its biochemistry components! And I have enough of an understanding of biology to easily understand and dive deep into this particular element of the Human Design knowledge. According to Human Design, I am heavily programmed in my sleep to get all of the facts and logic straight. Every night, I get pressured into an obsession with proving the details in a logical way and trying to influence others with that. This is a weak point in my Human Design. Feeling like I have to get the science proven first, before I can say something. I always feel like I have to study more, take more classes, get better at explaining the foundational facts, before I can truly influence or lead someone. It is not true. In order to help someone, you just need to know a little bit more than them – you don’t need to know everything! And also, science or logic isn’t the only way to make sense of the world – we can also just reflect on our experiences with our emotional wisdom, or have an intuitive inner knowing – these things are great at helping people with as well. Human Design shows why I had the ingrained pressure to get the science This weak point is found in what’s called ‘the dream rave’, an aspect of Human Design that is not well-known. Did you know we have a completely different chart at night? (And here you thought you were just getting a grip on the basics! This stuff goes deep!!)
I discovered I was highly sensitive and found some appreciation for my intuitive, soft nature. This soothed me, at least emotionally. I completely changed direction and went to art school, followed by an intensely spiritual path. I haven’t looked back. Still, the absurdity of me trying to pursue science (biology) with my sensitive, intuitive, artistic nature didn’t make sense to me. I was always more sensitive and artistic. Why didn’t I choose art or even just psychology from the beginning? (Read my story about going to art schoolThe different chart we have at night is called the ‘Dream Rave’. As you can see here I am a Reflector at night. In this Dream Rave, we get to see how we are programmed through our dreams, and which realm we are designed to encounter: the light realm, the demon realm or the earth realm. For me, I am most deeply programmed by the Light Realm. This is the one whispering secrets and facts into my ear at night, and letting me wake up with the feeling I should get all of the secrets of the universe figured out in a logical, factual way.
This can also be your core wound
Funnily enough, I have just done a Chiron Reading for someone with THE SAME THEME but in her case, the pressure to get the logical scientific facts straight before expressing came from the Chiron placement which shows our core wounds, so it didn’t come from her Dream Rave. Both my Dream Race weak point and her Chiron core wound are in Gate 62. This gate is about logical facts and has a shadow of obsessing over all the details and proving the logic before it can be shared. It can feel like it never knows enough.This gate is not all bad though
If this gate is defined in your waking chart (and not by Chiron or in your Dream Rave), it can be beautiful in its factual orientation. We need people with this gate, to refine and organize the logical framework this society operates in. They are excellent at breaking things down and communicating them. However, if it has more of a shadow expression in our chart, for instance in the Chiron or Dream Rave placements like I share here, it turns into obsession with the logical facts. For me, this became an obsession with science, the most logical, factual type of sense-making we have in this world. Human Design is just infinitely interesting to me – it gets so specific in how it shows us our GIFTS and our CHALLENGES!Transcending our challenges with self-acceptance
It gives me so much peace and self-acceptance to finally understand this scientific pressure I have felt my whole life. To look back and see why I made these academic choices as a teenager and really went off-path with – and why I still feel insecure about not being scientific or logical enough. Not just with the ex-classmate insecurity, but even now with Human Design, I can feel like I don’t know enough yet! Whatever I do, I don’t feel factual enough and get obsessed studying it. And now I understand why. So finally I can just ignore this programming. I can tell people ‘hey, if you want logic and science, you won’t find it with me’. I can put disclaimers into place around being more intuitive in my approach. And do the thing I love doing and excell at, instead of failing anyway at convincing people of the facts!What I’m here for
I am not here to spread logic. I am here to tell stories. To share MY story, as I just did, but more importantly, the stories of the collective. How one experience relates to us all. I LOVE that. Through these stories, I offer intuitive insight and share my services to help others make big transformations in their life too with the power of self-acceptance. Ultimately, I am here to become wise about the logical, factual foundation of anything, and how I offer and share this. I have learned to edit, take my time, review and reflect, before I share something. Not because of that same perfectionism around my logical foundation, but because I know this is a programming force that has to be played out within me first, before I can share how I am meant to share. Now, I let my obsessed inner fact-checker calm down first, and then I share my story in a FUN way.Connecting science with esoterica
Also, I would have never found the true connection between mind and body in my study of Psychobiology, because science is of course very limited in its understanding of our multidimensional nature – maybe apart from quantum mechanics. I found this connection first in energy work, somatic body work, and of course in Human Design itself! Which also has quantum mechanics and biochemistry, as well as esoteric systems like the I Ching, Kabbalah, astrology and the chakra system. Intuitive Human Design Reading service: just select the variant you want. What is your core wound (Chiron) or how are you pressured at night (Dream Rave)? And how can you release this, to find acceptance for who you truly are and live the life you are meant to live? I am bouncing with excitement right now!! Self-acceptance is the greatest thing ever and I want everyone to feel that! This is why I love Human Design. Book your customizable Intuitive Human Design Reading here:
If you want to learn how you are programmed at night (Dream Rave) or what your Chiron core wound is according to Human Design, you can book both types of readings in my